10.30.2007
Does Richard Dawkins Exist?
Using much of Dawkins own logic this spoof begs the question as to why anyone should believe in Richard Dawkins. If you understand the arguments this is hilarious.
10.28.2007
Email To Self
I asked our crowd today if any of them write emails to themselves. I got a lot of weird looks and very few hands went into the air so I suppose I'm all alone on this one (or the only one brave enough to admit it). I've been writing emails to myself for years. No, I don't write "Dear Tally, you're handsome and smart and cool. If I were a woman and you were not married, I'd want to take you out for dinner." ::Cough Cough:: No... not that kind!
I write myself reminders. (side note: Jott works better)
Anyway, the other day I decided to go ahead and do a forward that my family was sending around. I NEVER do these things and normally I delete them as fast as I get them but as I saw my family complete them they all had a common answer for one of the questions: "Who is least likely to respond to this?" They all put "Tally". Hey, at least I'm consistant right?
Well, I decided to respond and among the rest of the answers (mostly tounge-in-cheek), I was presented with a serious question. "What do you want to do before you die?"
Wow. Good question.
So I thought and wrote two main things (more than two but I summarized).
"1. See my son come to know Christ as Savior.
2. Develop a successful business which will free me up to grow a successful church which will allow us to decrease poverty in a significant way in Hampton Roads which will allow me to multiply that in cities across the U.S. as a model starting with Baltimore. Along the way I'll likely run for significant state or federal office."
Wow. I actually wrote it out. That's my heart's desire. That's the mark I believe God has called me to leave on the planet. I'm certain there will be more to it as my life unfolds but man there is a lot I honestly want to see accomplished in my lifetime.So I wrote myself an email. It was as simple as this. I copied what I considered was my life's goal into the body and I wrote in the subject line: "Just do it then."
It's become cliche but honestly... Just do it. Just start moving forward with the conviction and faith that what God has called and equipped you to do will come to pass.
Do you want to know what my greatest fear was when we started Focal Point? It wasn't a fear of failure. Not at all. I honestly have never worried about what people would think if we failed. My greatest fear in the first year was a fear of success. What if people actually show up? What if we send out mailers and hundreds of people flood in to hear what GOD has to say through little 'ol me?
Let me ask you this. What is holding you back? Is it fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of rejection? Lies you've believed since you were young? Inferriority complex?
Find whatever that hangup is in your life preventing you from articulating the call of God on your life and overcome that hurdle. God has a plan for your life to change the world but it will only happen when you come to grips with it and begin moving forward.
Go ahead. Write that email to yourself.
10.26.2007
Delusional Church?
Today my local Barista (possessive vocabulary... why do we do that?) anyway... MY Barista and I were talking about her introducing me as "The Pastor" or "Reverend". We talked about how I hate the title b/c it comes with crazy connotations depending on One's past experience. I reminded her that I don't call her "The Barista". We joked a little more about that but moved on.
Later in the day I had a great conversation with a guy who's flipped the switch of church "off" in his life. He seems to be cool with the bible and the Christ of the bible but the church has screwed him over. When he made mistakes in the past the church was quick to pounce. He said pretty emphatically that he's done with the church. We talked more and I suggested that he treat his church experience like a crazy relative. You know you're related but you don't have to hang out except for the off chance of a family reunion. You just kinda accept family that you wouldn't enjoy hanging with. We all have that crazy relative (and they probably consider us crazy to be fair).
Ultimately though I've wondered to myself. Is the church just straight up Delusional?
I think the answer is yes. Most churches appear to be delusional.
On one hand we have the church mindset which we "young bucks" consider to be the traditional church. We're just as screwed up but I'll get to that in a second. The younger generation looks to the traditional church and their judgemental behavior and we say "You guys would be better if you accepted people like Jesus did and demonstrate love and compassion to those who are involved in sin. Don't make people get fixed before meeting Jesus!" Rightly so many churches fit the stereotypical traditional caricature. Rightly or wrongly a LOT of people in society have been hurt at their weakest moments because while they were open to God the church kicked them for not living up to their 'holy' expectations.
But then we must look at the modern church plants and "younger" churches. We're just as delusional albeit for different reasons. Many of the average sized (under 100 attendee) churches I've come across have a delusion as well. They're pretty accepting... they have found some sort of freedom in this new way of doing 'church' but they're delusional about two things.
First they are so centered inward on having found this cool Jesus that they turn Him into nothing more than a rallying cry for a social club. I mean we get a group of 70 people together and we've got just enough people to fill a small room so it "feels" like church... then we turn off the outreach arm. It is comfortable, we're all accepted and non-judgemental... and not too much is expected of us because after-all Jesus is inclusive. So we stop growing.
Secondly another issue comes up. We become pretty weak in doctrine. While I completely agree with the argument of making sure our churches are "DOING" the gospel... I am afraid many of our smaller churches (including ours) gets stuck in a rut of feeling good about "doing" the gospel but we don't know much about why we do it. The leaders do for sure... and the leaders have a pow-wow about how cool it is to see their members serving like Jesus and being compassionate. Prayer circles are formed and things seem to be lining up with scripture but again while we're patting ourselves on the back for having a church with the compassion of the girl scouts we still end up ignoring the world as people die and are seperated from Christ. After all there are a lot of compassion groups that meet physical needs and they feel tingly inside. The difference is supposed to be that as the church we want to see lives changed and not just changed based on what zip code the person can live in or if they have a roof... but changed because of the power of Jesus Christ in their lives.
We're delusional. We're missing the boat. Not everyone... but many.
This is why it's wise for those of us not hitting home runs to continue to be open to those who are. We must quit making excuses and start soaking up the passions of men like Driscoll, Noble, Grochell, Batterson, Furtick, Stanley, Young, Jakes, etc. These ministries have found some balance somewhere that the rest of us aren't hitting (at least maybe not yet).
This may end up being a challenge just to myself but I believe it's time we stop being delusional and realize that if we're not seeing people come to Christ on a regular basis and seeing our cities flipped upside down...it's not God's fault. It's not like He's sitting back on his blessed assurance. He's done all the work He needs to do until His return. I think he's looking for us to swallow our pride and admit where we're not seeing things clearly and get back on track.
I know our church is in need of a passionate desire to seriously reach the lost. We have a great vibe week to week but we're looking at the same faces and it's time we stop. While we absolutely must love those we see every week we need some leaders to get some righteous anger about not seeing people like my friend at the coffee shop coming to Christ on a regular basis. Let's not only be open to those who are far from God but lets be sure they hear the clear and concise message of Jesus Christ so we join as many people as possible in the glorious future known as eternal life in Christ.
Later in the day I had a great conversation with a guy who's flipped the switch of church "off" in his life. He seems to be cool with the bible and the Christ of the bible but the church has screwed him over. When he made mistakes in the past the church was quick to pounce. He said pretty emphatically that he's done with the church. We talked more and I suggested that he treat his church experience like a crazy relative. You know you're related but you don't have to hang out except for the off chance of a family reunion. You just kinda accept family that you wouldn't enjoy hanging with. We all have that crazy relative (and they probably consider us crazy to be fair).
Ultimately though I've wondered to myself. Is the church just straight up Delusional?
I think the answer is yes. Most churches appear to be delusional.
On one hand we have the church mindset which we "young bucks" consider to be the traditional church. We're just as screwed up but I'll get to that in a second. The younger generation looks to the traditional church and their judgemental behavior and we say "You guys would be better if you accepted people like Jesus did and demonstrate love and compassion to those who are involved in sin. Don't make people get fixed before meeting Jesus!" Rightly so many churches fit the stereotypical traditional caricature. Rightly or wrongly a LOT of people in society have been hurt at their weakest moments because while they were open to God the church kicked them for not living up to their 'holy' expectations.
But then we must look at the modern church plants and "younger" churches. We're just as delusional albeit for different reasons. Many of the average sized (under 100 attendee) churches I've come across have a delusion as well. They're pretty accepting... they have found some sort of freedom in this new way of doing 'church' but they're delusional about two things.
First they are so centered inward on having found this cool Jesus that they turn Him into nothing more than a rallying cry for a social club. I mean we get a group of 70 people together and we've got just enough people to fill a small room so it "feels" like church... then we turn off the outreach arm. It is comfortable, we're all accepted and non-judgemental... and not too much is expected of us because after-all Jesus is inclusive. So we stop growing.
Secondly another issue comes up. We become pretty weak in doctrine. While I completely agree with the argument of making sure our churches are "DOING" the gospel... I am afraid many of our smaller churches (including ours) gets stuck in a rut of feeling good about "doing" the gospel but we don't know much about why we do it. The leaders do for sure... and the leaders have a pow-wow about how cool it is to see their members serving like Jesus and being compassionate. Prayer circles are formed and things seem to be lining up with scripture but again while we're patting ourselves on the back for having a church with the compassion of the girl scouts we still end up ignoring the world as people die and are seperated from Christ. After all there are a lot of compassion groups that meet physical needs and they feel tingly inside. The difference is supposed to be that as the church we want to see lives changed and not just changed based on what zip code the person can live in or if they have a roof... but changed because of the power of Jesus Christ in their lives.
We're delusional. We're missing the boat. Not everyone... but many.
This is why it's wise for those of us not hitting home runs to continue to be open to those who are. We must quit making excuses and start soaking up the passions of men like Driscoll, Noble, Grochell, Batterson, Furtick, Stanley, Young, Jakes, etc. These ministries have found some balance somewhere that the rest of us aren't hitting (at least maybe not yet).
This may end up being a challenge just to myself but I believe it's time we stop being delusional and realize that if we're not seeing people come to Christ on a regular basis and seeing our cities flipped upside down...it's not God's fault. It's not like He's sitting back on his blessed assurance. He's done all the work He needs to do until His return. I think he's looking for us to swallow our pride and admit where we're not seeing things clearly and get back on track.
I know our church is in need of a passionate desire to seriously reach the lost. We have a great vibe week to week but we're looking at the same faces and it's time we stop. While we absolutely must love those we see every week we need some leaders to get some righteous anger about not seeing people like my friend at the coffee shop coming to Christ on a regular basis. Let's not only be open to those who are far from God but lets be sure they hear the clear and concise message of Jesus Christ so we join as many people as possible in the glorious future known as eternal life in Christ.
10.22.2007
You Majored in What?
I'm convinced that the life of faith requires a double major. Two major things we will need to embrace are logic and miraculous works of God.
Logic Major:
God doesn't change. Learning the principles of God allow us to see a logical flow to what He tends to do. People who don't major in the logic side of God tend to expect miracles in every moment. People with this mindset are often described as "Too heavenly minded to be any earthly good." He is the Alpha and the Omega. He's not a respector of persons. For the logical mind He's great b/c He's consistant. We know where God stands in most situations.
Miraculous Major:
While God is often understood in logical terms because He's consistant we must also at the same time major in the Maraculous. There are times when through the power of the Holy Spirit God will choose to do the miraculous. For those of us who are more easily tuned to the logical part of life it's important that we are sensitive to the fact that at times God will step in and alter a situation. While he is logical in the day to day we must factor into our logical mind the ability for God to show up and do the unexpected.
All of us are uniquely designed.
If you're like me you've been able to identify a part of you that outweighs the other. I'm naturally logical. I have to be certain that I stay open to the miraculous situations of life. You may be the opposite. You may say "You know, I have amazing faith and I believe God for miracles but my problem is that when I don't see miracles I tend to doubt God." If that's where you are, it's cool... just work on the logical part. Scripture is given to us to learn how God works in this world. By feeding on example after example of God's provision for his people you will soon be able to find peace in the midst of the daily grind.
No matter our persuasion we must enjoy both the journey and the view. Then and only then will we live the life we're blessed to have if only we'd receive it. Being assured of God's presence in both the mind and the miracles is a wonderful thing.
Logic Major:
God doesn't change. Learning the principles of God allow us to see a logical flow to what He tends to do. People who don't major in the logic side of God tend to expect miracles in every moment. People with this mindset are often described as "Too heavenly minded to be any earthly good." He is the Alpha and the Omega. He's not a respector of persons. For the logical mind He's great b/c He's consistant. We know where God stands in most situations.
Miraculous Major:
While God is often understood in logical terms because He's consistant we must also at the same time major in the Maraculous. There are times when through the power of the Holy Spirit God will choose to do the miraculous. For those of us who are more easily tuned to the logical part of life it's important that we are sensitive to the fact that at times God will step in and alter a situation. While he is logical in the day to day we must factor into our logical mind the ability for God to show up and do the unexpected.
All of us are uniquely designed.
If you're like me you've been able to identify a part of you that outweighs the other. I'm naturally logical. I have to be certain that I stay open to the miraculous situations of life. You may be the opposite. You may say "You know, I have amazing faith and I believe God for miracles but my problem is that when I don't see miracles I tend to doubt God." If that's where you are, it's cool... just work on the logical part. Scripture is given to us to learn how God works in this world. By feeding on example after example of God's provision for his people you will soon be able to find peace in the midst of the daily grind.
No matter our persuasion we must enjoy both the journey and the view. Then and only then will we live the life we're blessed to have if only we'd receive it. Being assured of God's presence in both the mind and the miracles is a wonderful thing.
10.20.2007
My Hot Wife
No I'm not talking about her looks... I'm referring to her birthday cake!
(But she looks hot too!)
Thanks to our friends John and Amber who had us over for dinner and a cake for my bride.
(But she looks hot too!)
Thanks to our friends John and Amber who had us over for dinner and a cake for my bride.
10.19.2007
Race and Culture stereotypes
A few weeks ago when playing basketball I was told by a guy "You're the white boy no one is guarding so that's why you score all of these points."
In a gym full of African Americans and maybe 3 or 4 other caucasion guys I happened to have a few good nights in a row and it was causing problems for the opposing teams. When this guy said this to me I thought "white guy? What does that have to do with anything?" I laughed it up with him and reminded him that if I recalled there were plenty of defenders... they just weren't keeping up with me. I couldn't help but to think over the next few weeks about that comment. It was a racial comment for sure. It was one of many I've actually heard from African Americans since I grew up in Baltimore City and have always kept company with people from other races. I just have to remind myself that others don't know that. They assume that I'm a privilidged white guy who's had everything handed to me.
The other day this same guy got to pick teams and out of the whole gym he picked me. I laughed and asked him why he'd pick a "white guy" and I reminded him of the comment. He apologized and said "You know... I should't have said white guy.... I should have just said that they can't guard you." That was it... I smiled and told him I was cool and we went on to play.
------
Recently I read Clarence Thomas' book called "My grandfather's son". In it he addresses the problems he's had with race. Not only did he deal with racism from whites as did everyone around him during the years of his youth but he went into detail about what hurt him most. The racist treatment from blacks. He educates the reader on issues of "shades" within the black community. Thomas describes his ancestors being of a dark decent and he discusses how even within the black community his race seemed to be a target for humor. He also describes how lighter shade-blacks are picked on for not being 'black enough'.
The area where Thomas shows the most disdain is over the idea that he doesn't "think black". He said in a recent interview that he felt this was similar to slavery. "How can another man tell me what to think? I've arrived at my possitions based on the capicity to think through the issues." He went on to say that within his community he's allowed to disagree with other blacks over issues of no significance such as whether he roots for the Nationals baseball team or the Orioles. When it comes to the best approach to solving social ills however, he believes that there is still a racisim coming from blacks toward blacks who do not adopt the parties line.
----
I've also noticed a subtle cultural version of stereotypes. My sister was called a "Boushe" by some old friends who currently live in the city where we're from. This expression is basically a label applied to someone who moves from poverty to material wealth (loose definition) and no longer is at peace with living the old way of life. It's a slang adaptation of Karl Marx' discussion of various classes. The word play comes from the term "bourgeoisie". This term is thrown around a lot in the black community when referring to someone who has attained a lifestyle above that of the rest of their community. It's somewhat ironic that everyone wants to succeed and attain a better life but we've come up with words to defame their success.
The discussion was innocent enough but certainly reflected some of the perceptions. It's an 'ism' like any other.
---
While looking through new releases, I flipped through the new book by Bill Cosby entitled "Come on, people". It's effectively a work derived from the last three years traveling and meeting with African Americans across the nation. Cosby wants to challenge all races to live in the most positive way possible to get out of the cycle of murder, drugs, violence and poverty which exists in many of our inner city areas.
The opening of the book is Cosby's take on the fact that some believe he "Doesn't have his black card." He goes through a look at history identifying leaders who apparently have their 'black card' who have said the same things he's trying to say.
It's sad that because he approaches solutions for the African American community differently than those who claim to speak for the entire race of people that he's to a place where he's told that he's not 'black enough' or that he doesn't 'think black'.
---
Today I came across an article describing the most recent BET awards. This article speaks to the fact that two of the "Jenna 6" were presenters for the event's highest award.
I cannot pass judgement on these young men. What I understand of the case is that these 6 young men jumped and beat a white student so badly that he went uncouncious and then they stomped and kicked him more. There had been racial tension building when some white students tied nooses on a tree where white students had generally congregated at lunch previously. Apparently they were racist and hung the nooses in response to black students sitting in their area when they weren't invited.
I certainly believe that these racial tentions in this town are wrong and the white students were horribly wrong to do what they did. I am equally appauled that the black students jumped a white student and now are litterally being given a stage at the BET awards.
http://www.thetowntalk.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071019/NEWS01/710190316/1002
---
For me I have concern with all of these issues. Some of my thoughts are as follows:
1. Racism in all forms is wrong.
Me being singled out for being white is just as wrong as being singled out in any other race. My friend at the gym realized this and I appreciated hearing him say so.
2. Whites need to be mindful that we're only 1 generation removed from the assination of Martin Luther King, Jr.
All of the years of slavery, institutionalized racism and segregation cannot be fixed right away. It will take a few generations of equality for our society to truly balance out. It's very easy for a white man/woman to argue that the entire problem is that those of other races are lazy or ignorant. That's not only not true it is ignorant of the big picture. This country has 400 years of white examples of success. Nearly everyone celebrated in our history class was white. In comparrison we have only 40 years of "equality" in America. Is it any wonder why some of our older black friends still feel they are a part of the same story as they were when MLK was shot? We may look at it and say "Times have changed" but give some grace to the fact that the issues are fresh in their mind. Yes society may have changed but they are fighting in their view for the same thing as before. Are some taking advantage? Yes. Are all taking advantage? No.
3. African American's should consider solutions their leaders put out and look at the results of following one path over another.
Clarance Thomas, Condeleza Rice and Bill Cosby among others have the same skin tone as the rest of their ancestors children but they've found that there are alternative solutions to the problems apart from the likes of Jackson, Sharpton and NAACP. Having grown up in Baltimore City and being on welfare as a kid I am well versed in the plight of the poor and I'm extremely familiar with the challenges faced by those in that environment. Being educated I also have learned the value in personal responsibility, education and not allowing myself to buy into an empovirshed and failed mind-set. When our leaders (no matter their race) present solutions we must ask ourselves if those solutions have results that enable us to be all that we're created to be. Its sad to me that some of the most emovirshed areas of our country continue to elect the same leaders and continue to follow the same people and continue to get the same results.
I look for the day when people like Clarence Thomas (only the 2nd black man to hold his position) would be viewed as the fruition of the Civil Rights Movement. I also look for people like Senator Obamma not to be criticized for being light skinned or from true African decent. It'll also be nice when people who live in the city don't look with contempt on those who have advanced themselves in life. It seems odd to me that we continue to pull down those who have succeeded. Let's start lifting one another up.
In a gym full of African Americans and maybe 3 or 4 other caucasion guys I happened to have a few good nights in a row and it was causing problems for the opposing teams. When this guy said this to me I thought "white guy? What does that have to do with anything?" I laughed it up with him and reminded him that if I recalled there were plenty of defenders... they just weren't keeping up with me. I couldn't help but to think over the next few weeks about that comment. It was a racial comment for sure. It was one of many I've actually heard from African Americans since I grew up in Baltimore City and have always kept company with people from other races. I just have to remind myself that others don't know that. They assume that I'm a privilidged white guy who's had everything handed to me.
The other day this same guy got to pick teams and out of the whole gym he picked me. I laughed and asked him why he'd pick a "white guy" and I reminded him of the comment. He apologized and said "You know... I should't have said white guy.... I should have just said that they can't guard you." That was it... I smiled and told him I was cool and we went on to play.
------
Recently I read Clarence Thomas' book called "My grandfather's son". In it he addresses the problems he's had with race. Not only did he deal with racism from whites as did everyone around him during the years of his youth but he went into detail about what hurt him most. The racist treatment from blacks. He educates the reader on issues of "shades" within the black community. Thomas describes his ancestors being of a dark decent and he discusses how even within the black community his race seemed to be a target for humor. He also describes how lighter shade-blacks are picked on for not being 'black enough'.
The area where Thomas shows the most disdain is over the idea that he doesn't "think black". He said in a recent interview that he felt this was similar to slavery. "How can another man tell me what to think? I've arrived at my possitions based on the capicity to think through the issues." He went on to say that within his community he's allowed to disagree with other blacks over issues of no significance such as whether he roots for the Nationals baseball team or the Orioles. When it comes to the best approach to solving social ills however, he believes that there is still a racisim coming from blacks toward blacks who do not adopt the parties line.
----
I've also noticed a subtle cultural version of stereotypes. My sister was called a "Boushe" by some old friends who currently live in the city where we're from. This expression is basically a label applied to someone who moves from poverty to material wealth (loose definition) and no longer is at peace with living the old way of life. It's a slang adaptation of Karl Marx' discussion of various classes. The word play comes from the term "bourgeoisie". This term is thrown around a lot in the black community when referring to someone who has attained a lifestyle above that of the rest of their community. It's somewhat ironic that everyone wants to succeed and attain a better life but we've come up with words to defame their success.
The discussion was innocent enough but certainly reflected some of the perceptions. It's an 'ism' like any other.
---
While looking through new releases, I flipped through the new book by Bill Cosby entitled "Come on, people". It's effectively a work derived from the last three years traveling and meeting with African Americans across the nation. Cosby wants to challenge all races to live in the most positive way possible to get out of the cycle of murder, drugs, violence and poverty which exists in many of our inner city areas.
The opening of the book is Cosby's take on the fact that some believe he "Doesn't have his black card." He goes through a look at history identifying leaders who apparently have their 'black card' who have said the same things he's trying to say.
It's sad that because he approaches solutions for the African American community differently than those who claim to speak for the entire race of people that he's to a place where he's told that he's not 'black enough' or that he doesn't 'think black'.
---
Today I came across an article describing the most recent BET awards. This article speaks to the fact that two of the "Jenna 6" were presenters for the event's highest award.
I cannot pass judgement on these young men. What I understand of the case is that these 6 young men jumped and beat a white student so badly that he went uncouncious and then they stomped and kicked him more. There had been racial tension building when some white students tied nooses on a tree where white students had generally congregated at lunch previously. Apparently they were racist and hung the nooses in response to black students sitting in their area when they weren't invited.
I certainly believe that these racial tentions in this town are wrong and the white students were horribly wrong to do what they did. I am equally appauled that the black students jumped a white student and now are litterally being given a stage at the BET awards.
http://www.thetowntalk.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071019/NEWS01/710190316/1002
---
For me I have concern with all of these issues. Some of my thoughts are as follows:
1. Racism in all forms is wrong.
Me being singled out for being white is just as wrong as being singled out in any other race. My friend at the gym realized this and I appreciated hearing him say so.
2. Whites need to be mindful that we're only 1 generation removed from the assination of Martin Luther King, Jr.
All of the years of slavery, institutionalized racism and segregation cannot be fixed right away. It will take a few generations of equality for our society to truly balance out. It's very easy for a white man/woman to argue that the entire problem is that those of other races are lazy or ignorant. That's not only not true it is ignorant of the big picture. This country has 400 years of white examples of success. Nearly everyone celebrated in our history class was white. In comparrison we have only 40 years of "equality" in America. Is it any wonder why some of our older black friends still feel they are a part of the same story as they were when MLK was shot? We may look at it and say "Times have changed" but give some grace to the fact that the issues are fresh in their mind. Yes society may have changed but they are fighting in their view for the same thing as before. Are some taking advantage? Yes. Are all taking advantage? No.
3. African American's should consider solutions their leaders put out and look at the results of following one path over another.
Clarance Thomas, Condeleza Rice and Bill Cosby among others have the same skin tone as the rest of their ancestors children but they've found that there are alternative solutions to the problems apart from the likes of Jackson, Sharpton and NAACP. Having grown up in Baltimore City and being on welfare as a kid I am well versed in the plight of the poor and I'm extremely familiar with the challenges faced by those in that environment. Being educated I also have learned the value in personal responsibility, education and not allowing myself to buy into an empovirshed and failed mind-set. When our leaders (no matter their race) present solutions we must ask ourselves if those solutions have results that enable us to be all that we're created to be. Its sad to me that some of the most emovirshed areas of our country continue to elect the same leaders and continue to follow the same people and continue to get the same results.
I look for the day when people like Clarence Thomas (only the 2nd black man to hold his position) would be viewed as the fruition of the Civil Rights Movement. I also look for people like Senator Obamma not to be criticized for being light skinned or from true African decent. It'll also be nice when people who live in the city don't look with contempt on those who have advanced themselves in life. It seems odd to me that we continue to pull down those who have succeeded. Let's start lifting one another up.
10.18.2007
Being a Man: Lesson 2,397
You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself.
Galileo Galilei
Somewhere our society decided that men: "Don't ever talk about their emotions."
That has got to be one of the dumbest pieces of "wisdom" I've ever heard.
About 3 years ago at C3 that I heard Rob Bell speak. In the middle of an illustration he said "And I was telling my counselor..."
The audience (of mostly male Pastors) started laughing.
The problem? Bell hadn't paused. He was in the following sentence when he realized what just happened. He stopped his train of thought and came back to that point. He said something to the effect of "Why are you laughing? It's funny to talk to a counselor? The truth is that if more Pastors talked to counselors, more Pastors would be fit to lead their congregations and deal with the burdens they carry of their church members. Everyone in this room should see a counselor. It'd be good for you."
That was about all he said but it was one of the biggest points of his talk that stuck with me.
I've noticed that men everywhere are afraid to talk to counselors. I've had couples who wanted me to marry them but I wouldn't because the husband to be wouldn't do marriage counseling.
I think the problem stems from two extremes.
On one side we have a generation of men raised by men who were verbally abusive and downright ignorant on how to raise a boy into manhood.
They tried to emulate masculinity in the only way they knew how... work hard, party hard, carry a big stick. That was manhood. Conquer and make people submit... what a man you'll be! What ignorance.
Then on the other side of the coin are men who were not raised by a father at all.
Dad simply bailed and wasn't there to show his son how to become a man and talk through his emotions and problems. In some cases they had a dad at home but emotionally he was absent. As that boy turned into a man the daddy was physically present but emotionally he could have been halfway around the world.
So we have a generation of men who can't handle their emotional side. Our culture for a while got to where anything dealing with emotion was called our "feminine side". Call it what you want... we're emotional beings as much as we're physical and spiritual. Learning how to process and deal with our emotions (in all of their forms) is not only healthy but its also wise.
About a year after hearing Rob Bell speak I found a Christian counseling center in our area.
I went in and was relieved to meet a person who was straight up and logical (I'm that way). After a while the counselor asked "Why are you here again? You have no problems and you have a pretty solid grasp of everything... and your perspective is right on." I compared my visits as guard rails on the road. I wanted to visit every now and then to be sure I'm keeping my life balanced and my mental and emotional life on the road. The counselor smiled and said "I wish every Pastor in America would have that mindset. You guys have to deal with everyone's problems. I can't imagine keeping all of that bottled up. That's not healthy."
I agreed.
For a while I went about once every 8 weeks or so just to check in. The cost wasn't bad at all and frankly I felt much more positive in dealing with the daily grind because I gained good logical perspective on stuff that would come up from time to time.
Let me give you another illustration of why you too should line up a visit:
Do you change your oil only when your engine blows up? Absolutely not. You understand that it's far more wise to change your oil along the way when things are fine than to find yourself on the side of the road with smoke coming from your hood. Well that's what I want for your life as well. I want you to have a solid grasp of your life and the way your mind works so that you have less experience with the big blowups. You will be able to have someone who is trained ask you the questions that need to be asked so you will be cautious of any problems ahead.
The title of this post specifically calls out men but I believe this lesson extends to everyone. I firmly believe that apart from visiting a counselor now and then, married couples should go to conferences to gain wisdom and push "pause" on life once in a while. If you're considering marriage I'm emphatically in support of a marriage counselor who walks you through the common areas of problems in marriage. Do you realize most couples spend thousands of dollars and nearly a year planning for the wedding DAY and they spend next to no money or time investing in the rest of the marriage that happens AFTER that day? Invest in your marriage, not just the wedding!
The Nuts and Bolts:
For those of you who are wondering, most visits on the average health plan run about the same as your deductible for your regular Dr. visits. If you're worried about your privacy, pay with cash. The only paper trail is then what is kept in the office with your counselor. Additionally many Christian counselors offer a 'sliding scale' through a non-profit arm of the practice. There really isn't much of a reason for you not to get the help you need. Don't rely on people who have no degree to give you all of your advice. Treat it like an oil change or tune-up. It's not as scary as you may think and frankly I think it's the weak man who refuses to keep his mind and emotional life in balance.
I've personally found this to be invaluable to me in my ministry, marriage and personal life. Do yourself, your family and your church a favor... go talk with someone.
10.17.2007
I'm offended..... that you're offended.
The idea of offense is out of control in our current culture. It has invaded the church and ruined the very definition of the word "offense" which is used approximately 73 times in the bible for varying things.
In our present day it seems that society has equaled "being offended" with some form of crime or sin. The theory works like this: "Simply because I'm offended... you must be at fault."
People are offended at everything and they expect those who've "offended them" to crawl to them on all fours and apologize for living.
A few examples:
Example 1: "I'm offended when someone reads their bible in public."
This is one I've dealt with recently. The solution proposed is that we eliminate all forms of religion from the public square. Atheism and Agnosticism don't count. They are philosophies, not faiths. Yeah... and I can jump the Grand Canyon.
Listen up world. If you're offended at me reading my bible in Starbucks, turn your chair and mind your own business. I don't subscribe to any of the philosophies found in the books surrounding the Christian section at Barnes and Noble but I don't care if someone wants to read them. If you want to believe that your holy underpants make a difference... go right ahead. Why should I be offended over that?
Example 2: "I'm offended because you said___ or did ____ and you're a Pastor."
This one is fun. A lot of Pastors in recent times (last 50-100 years) have subjected themselves to this to the point that it may as well be theology in some circles. Listen. Your Pastor doesn't have to apologize to you because you think his hair is too long, he grew a gotee or because he wore a hat into the church building. Just because you're "offended" at something that isn't sin doesn't mean He has to live down to your level of Spiritual Maturity. Get a bible, read it and next time bring it with you when you believe there should be an offense. Don't bring your immature attitude about scripture or about what actually took place (when you hear it through the gossip mill in the parking lot). Just because you wouldn't do something doesn't automatically make that thing sinful. If so, that'd make you God and frankly that's a scary place to put yourself. I think Christ already has that title on the door.
Example 3: "Ann Coulter... I'm offended you'd say that.... c'mon... you're educated."
This one was recently on national television. See the YouTube video.
It's obvious that Donny Deutch wanted to drill down to get her to say something he could jump all over. This clip was after about 5 minutes of him trying to badger her into submission about her philosophy of writing a book. She relented and kept telling him that she says what she thinks and if you've known her since Kindergarten you'd know she's being honest.
Anyway... The very reason Donny "was offended" is that he doesn't get a basic understanding of an Evangelical Christian. That ideal is that none of us are "perfect" in ourselves. It's only through Jesus Christ that anyone is "perfected" and able to enter Heaven. Ann Coulter tried several times to explain that there is no reason to be offended. She even apologized and tried a few times to explain that "Christ died for our sins." For her to want Donny (or anyone else) to experience Salvation through Christ is not something to be "offended" by. Her faith teaches that Christ died for everyone and ANYONE can accept his free gift of eternal life. No works, no ambiguity... just heaven.
SO WHAT IS THE DEAL?
The deal is that not every time that I'm frustrated by something is that a time in which my "offense" is justified and I'm owed any apology. In fact in most cases I CHOOSE what to be offended by.
Our culture is full of hypochondriacs who need to put a helmet on and grab a pacifier. Things in life won't always go your way and at times you will see or hear things that you personally wouldn't do. It doesn't mean the world owes you an apology and no... they aren't in sin if they refuse to give you one.
As a Christian I'm offended when scripture (rightly divided) isn't practiced by those who proclaim it. We should spend our time being offended that our world is without Christ and we're doing very little about it. We shouldn't listen to the hypochondriacs who sit on their rump and want to run the church. Let's be offended by what offends Jesus. Nothing more.
In our present day it seems that society has equaled "being offended" with some form of crime or sin. The theory works like this: "Simply because I'm offended... you must be at fault."
People are offended at everything and they expect those who've "offended them" to crawl to them on all fours and apologize for living.
A few examples:
Example 1: "I'm offended when someone reads their bible in public."
This is one I've dealt with recently. The solution proposed is that we eliminate all forms of religion from the public square. Atheism and Agnosticism don't count. They are philosophies, not faiths. Yeah... and I can jump the Grand Canyon.
Listen up world. If you're offended at me reading my bible in Starbucks, turn your chair and mind your own business. I don't subscribe to any of the philosophies found in the books surrounding the Christian section at Barnes and Noble but I don't care if someone wants to read them. If you want to believe that your holy underpants make a difference... go right ahead. Why should I be offended over that?
Example 2: "I'm offended because you said___ or did ____ and you're a Pastor."
This one is fun. A lot of Pastors in recent times (last 50-100 years) have subjected themselves to this to the point that it may as well be theology in some circles. Listen. Your Pastor doesn't have to apologize to you because you think his hair is too long, he grew a gotee or because he wore a hat into the church building. Just because you're "offended" at something that isn't sin doesn't mean He has to live down to your level of Spiritual Maturity. Get a bible, read it and next time bring it with you when you believe there should be an offense. Don't bring your immature attitude about scripture or about what actually took place (when you hear it through the gossip mill in the parking lot). Just because you wouldn't do something doesn't automatically make that thing sinful. If so, that'd make you God and frankly that's a scary place to put yourself. I think Christ already has that title on the door.
Example 3: "Ann Coulter... I'm offended you'd say that.... c'mon... you're educated."
This one was recently on national television. See the YouTube video.
It's obvious that Donny Deutch wanted to drill down to get her to say something he could jump all over. This clip was after about 5 minutes of him trying to badger her into submission about her philosophy of writing a book. She relented and kept telling him that she says what she thinks and if you've known her since Kindergarten you'd know she's being honest.
Anyway... The very reason Donny "was offended" is that he doesn't get a basic understanding of an Evangelical Christian. That ideal is that none of us are "perfect" in ourselves. It's only through Jesus Christ that anyone is "perfected" and able to enter Heaven. Ann Coulter tried several times to explain that there is no reason to be offended. She even apologized and tried a few times to explain that "Christ died for our sins." For her to want Donny (or anyone else) to experience Salvation through Christ is not something to be "offended" by. Her faith teaches that Christ died for everyone and ANYONE can accept his free gift of eternal life. No works, no ambiguity... just heaven.
SO WHAT IS THE DEAL?
The deal is that not every time that I'm frustrated by something is that a time in which my "offense" is justified and I'm owed any apology. In fact in most cases I CHOOSE what to be offended by.
Our culture is full of hypochondriacs who need to put a helmet on and grab a pacifier. Things in life won't always go your way and at times you will see or hear things that you personally wouldn't do. It doesn't mean the world owes you an apology and no... they aren't in sin if they refuse to give you one.
As a Christian I'm offended when scripture (rightly divided) isn't practiced by those who proclaim it. We should spend our time being offended that our world is without Christ and we're doing very little about it. We shouldn't listen to the hypochondriacs who sit on their rump and want to run the church. Let's be offended by what offends Jesus. Nothing more.
Did you know?
Recently I've noticed anew the trend of people speaking about that which they do not know. A lot of times I hear it when I tell someone I went to LU and served at Thomas Road, Dr. Falwell's church. They almost always know nothing of the man but have heated opinions. I enjoy reading stories like this which I've known for a long time but illustrates my point:
William Willimon, former chaplain at Duke and now a United Methodist bishop, tells about the time he invited Jerry Falwell to speak. He did it on a dare, not expecting Falwell to accept. But Falwell showed up with bells on, so to speak. The Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgendered Alliance demanded Willimon be fired for inviting a man infamous for his "close-minded, racist, homophobic, self-righteous, incendiary rhetoric."
On the appointed evening, the student crowd was baited for bear. One of the first questions was, "How many African Americans do you have at your Liberty University?" "Young lady," said Falwell, "you could not have asked a question that hurts me more deeply." He went on about how hard he had worked over the years to recruit minority students and how he regularly discussed the matter with Coretta Scott King. "She told me not to be so consumed with the problem. But I can't help myself."
He finally allowed that only 12 percent of the students at Liberty are African Americans. Then he asked, "Do you know, by the way, how many African Americans are enrolled at Duke?" No response. Falwell said, "I'll tell you. Six percent. Six percent! Your endowment is 50 times bigger than ours. You have had years to work on this issue (though admittedly you spent half your life as a racially segregated school). In fact, I struggled with whether the Lord wanted me to come here tonight to a school that, though you have been given great gifts, has such a poor record of minority enrollment. I pray that you will let the Lord help you do better in this area."
from: http://brandondutcher.blogspot.com/2007/10/any-more-questions.html
William Willimon, former chaplain at Duke and now a United Methodist bishop, tells about the time he invited Jerry Falwell to speak. He did it on a dare, not expecting Falwell to accept. But Falwell showed up with bells on, so to speak. The Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgendered Alliance demanded Willimon be fired for inviting a man infamous for his "close-minded, racist, homophobic, self-righteous, incendiary rhetoric."
On the appointed evening, the student crowd was baited for bear. One of the first questions was, "How many African Americans do you have at your Liberty University?" "Young lady," said Falwell, "you could not have asked a question that hurts me more deeply." He went on about how hard he had worked over the years to recruit minority students and how he regularly discussed the matter with Coretta Scott King. "She told me not to be so consumed with the problem. But I can't help myself."
He finally allowed that only 12 percent of the students at Liberty are African Americans. Then he asked, "Do you know, by the way, how many African Americans are enrolled at Duke?" No response. Falwell said, "I'll tell you. Six percent. Six percent! Your endowment is 50 times bigger than ours. You have had years to work on this issue (though admittedly you spent half your life as a racially segregated school). In fact, I struggled with whether the Lord wanted me to come here tonight to a school that, though you have been given great gifts, has such a poor record of minority enrollment. I pray that you will let the Lord help you do better in this area."
from: http://brandondutcher.blogspot.com/2007/10/any-more-questions.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)