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Coaching is Key part 2

In my previous post on this topic I spoke about how much I enjoy coaching and how what I do is stolen because it's good.

Here's how I get started with someone whom I'm coaching:

1. Share my honest observations and belief in them.

The vast majority of which are good. In fact it's because so much is good that I care to invest in the person I'm coaching. I see the best in them. I see where they are spinning wheels. I see where they can find clarity. A good coach doesn't start with how pitiful you are. They start by talking about the rough talent and the capacity that the coaching can bring. I've always found the best coaching to be done in a spirit of complete transparency.

As an aside: I want my coach to believe in me so conversely I won't commit myself to coaching someone I don't already believe has great potential. I'm not a good liar when it comes to evaluation. I don't want to become good at giving false hope. We're all built by God with various talents and capacities. Not everyone is gifted in areas where I have expertise to help. As a result I am not a good coach for everyone. So I'll share a little time and give advice to just about anyone on the fly but I won't spend significant amounts of time on everyone. I can't. I'm limited. You're limited too. My advice: Spend time on a few. Share info through your blog or a book with the rest of the world.

Back to my recent coaching experience:
In this case I have observed
this person in various settings for a good period of time. I have observed working conditions, personal life, etc. And at the end of the day I believe in them. That's vital for them to know. They need to know that I truly have every desire to see them reach their God given potential.

What I do is remind people that they have a God given capacity and the coaching is simply to remove crud and build-up that limits the flow through their lives. Like a water pipe I believe much of what holds us back isn't from external forces (pinched water hose) but rather internal (clogged lines). Having an open and honest discussion about what I'm attempting to achieve and learning what they want to achieve we now have goals and won't waste our time.

Toward the end of this phase I commit to the time I am prepared to give so long as they show progress. Something like "I'll dedicate 6 months with one meeting a month and one phone call per week." OR "I'll dedicate to 1 year with one meeting a month and an email a week." All of my commitment is dependent on both of us feeling that progress is happening. As long as they act on the suggestions then our time was valuable. If they flake out and come back with nothing for a few sessions I know that the person being coached is not serious about life-change.

Next time we'll talk about "The Big 5".

posted by Tally Wilgis @ Wednesday, January 07, 2009


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