So I'm 30 Tomorrow

So I'm turning 30 years old tomorrow, June 5th, 2008.

While many of my readers view 30 as young... I view it as a milestone. Birthdays normally don't get much play in my mind but I guess the loss of the 2 in front of my age makes me feel older. To me 30 was always the "real adult" stage of life. In your twenties people expect you to be figuring things out and stumbling over yourself as you get oriented to who you will be in your adult life. But by 30... man you're supposed to be on the fast track.

This season of life for me is much much different. For the first time since I can recall I feel that I'm in a holding pattern. I have several options open to me but don't feel compelled by God to hit the pedal just yet on any one of them. This season for me is one of introspection, evaluation, prayer and patience.

At the moment I have two major opportunities in front of me. In both cases I could see myself spending the rest of my life working toward God-sized goals. Do you want to know the truth? I'm scared to death.

You'd think that by 30 a man would be able to face the challenges and opportunities without concern. I think that man is an idiot.

So every day for the last two months or so I have got out of bed and prayed to God for his wisdom and grace. I'm afraid and I'm not confident in myself. It's a good place to be.

Over the next few weeks I hope to have more clarity but I'm at a stage where I'm not positive God wants to give that to me. What he has given are two equally challenging and potentially equally rewarding options. While I am afraid He is not. As I turn 30 tomorrow I will reflect on just how amazing God has been to me. My family is blessed beyond belief and I've come farther - faster than anyone would have expected from this product of Baltimore City, MD.

So here's to 30. Here's to uncertainty. Here's to God's hand in all of our lives. The truth is that He isn't facing a flinch of indecision. He's fine. He's calm and collected. To Him 30 years is a blip. Here's to the next 30 years of my life being as reliant on Jesus as I am today.