Caleb come out and play!

I've been thinking more and more about becoming a dad.

I'm a man who grew up with a wonderful mother who was my mom and my dad. Like every other human, I have a father, but I didn't have a 'daddy'. When I was a kid I looked up to my mom and even as a youngster I'd see how hard my mom worked to provide for us kids, to raise us right, pull us from the slums of Baltimore City. My mother has been a huge Springboard for my life. She would go without for so long so her kids could have a better opportunity. Even as a woman without Christ she demonstrated Christ-like selflessness for us.

My birth father on the other hand demonstrated the opposite for me. He basically abandoned us from before I was born. I don't recall a week where he lived under the same roof as the rest of us. I do however recall one night when he tried to come over drunk and ended up sleeping on our front porch. I also recall him taking me to the park where he and other friends would play horse-shoes and drink. I remember seeing him at bars and going to watch him at the "Worlds Largest Softball Tournament" in Richmond, VA. I recall being a new Christian all excited about my faith and writing to my father to share the gospel. I would get back scripture verses and an assurance that he loved God too. I then remember how all of a sudden when he was out of jail I didn't hear from him and the verses from God's word stopped coming. I recall the last time I saw him was almost 10 years ago.

You see, I do love my father. But I love him in a different way than my mother. I love my father because he's a human being who needs the grace and forgiveness that Christ has to offer. I have forgiven him for those memories. Honestly I rarely think about him. I think of my mom constantly. I call my mom regularly. A running joke is when our phones ring and we see it's the other on caller ID we say "Hey, are you driving?" because we typically call one another when we're driving from place to place just to say "HI". I love my mom because she's my MOM, my inspiration, my sister in Christ and my friend.

Another thing about my past (while I'm being transparent), I've been so blessed to know God as my heavenly father. When I read scripture speak of God as "Father", I get it. He truly is all I need. He is my supply, my strength and my refuge. I didn't grow up without a father. It's funny but I had a mother named Mary and a Heavenly father. (I'm not taking it there.. just saying it's been cool for me to think about). Jesus, my Savior relates. Hebrews 4:14-16

I've said all of that to say this... I can't wait to be a dad. I want to give my little boy an earthly example of a man who walks with God. I know I will stumble and make mistakes and even get my hands messy in poo-poo from time to time but I will also show him how a servant of God responds to adversity, trials, temptations. Kristy is nearing her third trimester now... I'm looking at her belly and thinking "Come out and play!"

Caleb Matthew Wilgis, I love you. Now come out and play!