Leadership starts at home

In I Timothy 3 we find some of the qualifications for church leadership. One of the qualifications is that overseers and deacons be leaders in their own homes. "He must manage his own family well"

I've often read and re-read that statement. Unfortunately for many in the ministry this statement could disqualify them should other men be aware or courageous enough to challenge one another.

I once sat in a meeting where a disgruntled family wanted to take up their beef with the whole staff. Our Pastor warned them (he didn't call it warning) that they probably should just come and talk to him privately but apparently they refused and wanted other Pastors in the room. They began to attempt to rip him apart and say all sorts of hurtful things. After a few minutes I said "Okay, I've heard enough... do you have ANY BIBLICAL GROUNDS to stand on or is this just a veiled attack on this man?" The husband fired back "Yes. He doesn't manage his family well". I knew this was not the case but I appreciated the effort so I said "Okay, share how you feel this is so." The man said "His son rides his scooter in front of the church doors during set up and take-down. He's told him not to do it but the boy doesn't listen. Therefore the Pastor is not qualified to lead the church because he can't lead his family." I'm sure you know what came next. I said "Are you serious? Are you honestly saying that Paul was talking about husbands who have children who ride scooters? Is that the fruit you feel you have found to say that God requires us to exercise church discipline?" I continued "You know enough of your bible to be a little dangerous. But you're out of line and ignorant. I won't entertain any more accusations from you unless you come back with something concrete and biblical." The man got angry and came over toward me... slamed his bible on the floor and said a four letter word as he walked out of the office. That was the last I saw of him.

You see, there are ignorant people wanting to take this biblical requirement out of context just to attack you as the Shepard. This however does not give us the right to ignore the biblical principle. Too often I've heard and seen Pastors live two lives. The life they live in front of the church and the life they live at home. I've seen too many Pastors wives look with pride at their preacher husbands as the husband describes for the church how a 'Christian' husband looks after his bride and children. The frustration comes with that same family when Mr. Pastor comes home and ignores his wife and kids.

Pastors I encourage you today to call a time out. Review the last 2-3 weeks. Ask yourself "Self. Am I leading my family? Self, am I giving my wife and children the love and attention they deserve? Self, am I the Pastor at home as much as I'm the Pastor on Sunday?"

You guys may already know this but as a loving reminder... Please take care of your family. They are everything to who God's called you to be. That wife of yours is what makes you completely one. No other person on the planet should be able to take away what belongs to her... You. Leadership starts at home.