Nothing More, Nothing Less

Admit your mistakes, nothing more and nothing less.

Admitting your mistakes can sometimes be a tough task. Many of us want to frame our outward appearance. In youth ministry I recall so many times when a wayward kid would tell me "Tally, I just don't want you to think of me as _______."

What were they doing? They were trying to frame themselves in my mind.

Adults do it all of the time. We try to cover up our flaws like Mary Kay make-up. We (in our flesh) try to hide our mistakes and highlight our accomplishments. We've grown up thinking that flaws were terrible and perfection is the goal. I've met many PK's or ministry kids who grow up to be Pastors thinking that you can't succeed as a leader if you admit where you are flawed. What a joke! Everyone knows that you're broken. Everyone knows that you have problems.

I remember as a 7th grader getting into a fight. The kid said something stupid about me in class and my friends reminded me about it the whole day. I saw him in the hallway toward the end of the day and popped him upside the head. We wrestled around a bit before someone yelled "The Principal is coming!" We both got up and blended into the crowd.

During my next class I asked to go to the restroom and walked up to the principals office. I asked to see the Principal. I walked in and said "Mr. Gibson. It was me. I was in that fight. I started it. It was my fault." He looked at me so confused. He said something to the effect of "Well, Tally I'm surprised you came to tell me but I'm glad you did." He then called for the other student and we squashed our problem and got our due punishment.

What did I learn?

I learned that as later Dr. Falwell taught us at LU "Your problems are never as bad as you think they are and your achievements are never as great as you think they are." I also learned that I can take the punishment. I learned that I can move on after taking my licks. I learned not to fear failure or authority (in the respectful sense).

These were great lessons. Now as a leader I know I put them into action regularly. When I'm wrong I try to understand where I went wrong but the moment I do, I apologize and own up to it. As a Pastor people will come to you somewhat regularly and say you did something wrong or you offended. Most of the time they're full of garbage and need to quit whining but there will be times when you really did fumble the ball and need to own up to it.

Many times those who have a complaint just want to be validated. Don't validate lies (confront them) but you shouldn't try to hide valid claims. When valid mistakes are raised... Acknowledge your mistake... Nothing more, nothing less. Followers learn more by seeing how you respond to a failure than seeing you at your best.